First Readthrough of X

Today we started rehearsals for the 2 week workshop process of X (ten), my new play.  I think my best decision in this whole process was asking Jennifer Kenyon to Co-Direct.  Her feedback and understanding (patience) of my writing process encourages me to no end.  Something I wrote is worth her time.  That is all the encouragement I really need.

My gushing aside, I often worry about the fact that it’s difficult to make productive rewrites before I hear it out loud.  Seasoned playwrights might never have allowed their play to be read in the shape that mine is in.  The first 3/4 is pretty thorough, now, but I could feel the whole thread of the last 1/4 just unraveling with every syllable that was murmured.  The energy in the read dropped drastically during that last 1/4 and not even I was interested in anything they were saying.  But the first 3/4 was read wonderfully (and sung!) and allowed the true world of the play to reveal itself to me.  HERE are the interesting parts, HERE is the story that the audience wants to know more about, HERE is where they shifted their weight (Four times) out loud.

Oh, and I have pages and pages of rewrites.  A lot of work to do.  But I feel that these next two weeks will be the most productive part of the writing process.

Stay here for more rehearsal updates and save the date for Sunday march 30th and april 6th!

Segments will be published soon.  I might publish segments of the old drafts, so if someone was as geeky as me, they could trace the major changes in the piece.  To even just the overall structure of the story and storytelling.  and entire characters whose dramatic journeys have changed.  Or maybe I’ll post it just to keep my mind straight.

HERE’s the PROLOGUE from Draft 3

PROLOGUE

                            

                             Beyond the Army Camp

 

GUARD 1 & GUARD 2 climb a steep wall.  They pass a bottle back and forth.  Getting to the top, GUARD 1 looks over.

 

GUARD 1

This is it!  We found it!

 

                             GUARD 2

Let me see!  (He climbs up behind him.)  Wow.

 

                             GUARD 1

I thought it was…. Just stories.

 

                             GUARD 2

The Lost Ruins.  A statue graveyard.

 

(They sit at the ledge and look over, sharing the bottle.)

 

Look at all those great men.  They used to rule over city halls and ancient temples.  Now reduced to –

 

                             GUARD 1

Do you think we’ll be remembered that way?  As great men?

 

                             GUARD 2

Not the way we’re going.

 

                             GUARD 1

“Every man who serves his country shall be called a great man.” But then how can we all be called Great?  It loses any meaning.

 

                             GUARD 2

The General says that if we all serve our hearts, then we will all be remembered as great.

 

                             GUARD 1

Which General are you talking about now?

 

(Beat.)

Have you been back to see her yet?

 

                             GUARD 2

Not in two months.  It’s getting a little complicated.

 

                             GUARD 1

I’ve been thinking about it, you know.  About joining up.

 

GUARD 2 (Pointing)

There is our great leader Alexander.  His eyes were so kind, so powerful and – and just kind.  Like nothing I’ve ever seen before.  His eyes gave me courage.  I drew strength from that statue, and now look at it. I never did believe that he could kill his own daughter.  But you can’t tell Elsie – General Elsa – that.

 

                             GUARD 1

Have you told her what you think?

 

                             GUARD 2

No.  (Beat.)  I’m not blind, you know.  She’s only really interested in the information I bring her.  But that’s just the start.  She’ll see how loyal I am. Elsie is still young; she’ll grow to understand it wasn’t her father’s wish that Isadora die.

 

                             GUARD 1

Well, if he didn’t, and Rivera didn’t, then who did?

 

                             GUARD 2

I’m not saying Rivera didn’t. 

 

A man who wants to ignite a war must find a cause, a reason for the people to fight.  Isadora was so well-loved, she was perfect.  Oldest trick in the book.  Stage her murder, blame a country, go to war.  What Rivera didn’t expect was the public outcry.

 

He got his war. It’s just not the enemy he thought.

 

                             GUARD 1

Where did you get this idea?

 

                             GUARD 2

Just a feeling.  One of the stories going around. 

 

                             GUARD 1

Another story is that Isadora’s soul was taken up to Heaven by angels and she never felt the multiple stabs it took to kill her.  Believe that one?

 

                             GUARD 2

I’m trying to find the truth.  I’ve been writing it down…whatever I find, whatever I can remember.  I just need some confirmation of how things happened.

 

                             GUARD 1

Good luck with that.

     GUARD 2

It starts with her wedding day.

 

The song of Isadora,

The song of Isadora

Princess

With sharp grey eyes.
Modest Virgin, Protectress of the city!

____________________________________________________________________________________

PROLOGUE FROM DRAFT 5

PROLOGUE

                                                                       

                                                                       

SASHA & ANTON climb a steep wall.  Getting to the top, ANTON looks over.

 

SASHA

You know, most soldiers use their leave time to visit whores or relax.  Why are we mountain climbing?

 

                                                                        ANTON

I promised Elsie I’d see it.  Take pictures.

 

(He takes out a small camera.)

                                                                        SASHA

That’s illegal.

 

                                                                        ANTON

Who’s going to stop us?

 

                                                                        SASHA
If General Logan catches us—

 

(He takes a better look.)

 

Wow, look at those ruins.  I thought they were…. Just stories.

 

                                                                        ANTON

A statue graveyard.

 

(They sit at the ledge and look over, sharing a bottle.)

 

Look at all those great men.  Rulers of their countries.  Now just rubble.

 

                                                                        SASHA

Do you think we’ll be remembered that way?  As great men?

 

(SILENCE.)

 

                                                                        SASHA

General Logan says “Every man who serves his country shall be called a great man.” But there are thousands of us.

 

                                                                        ANTON

The General says that if we all serve our hearts, then we will all be great.

 

                                                                        SASHA

Which General are you talking about now?

 

(Beat.)

Have you been back to see- the General – yet?

 

                                                                        ANTON

Not–It’s getting a little complicated.

 

                                                                        SASHA

I’ve been thinking about it.

 

    ANTON

I don’t know what you mean.

 

    SASHA

About joining her – General Elsie’s – army.

(Suddenly alert, gun raised.)

Wait,  What was that?

 

                                                                        ANTON

What? 

(He listens.)

You mean the wind?  We scaled a mountain – of course the wind’s harsher. 

(Whispers)

And if you say one word about joining up, I’ll arrest you for treason myself.

 

                                                                        SASHA

OK.  But if we can’t talk in the middle of nowhere, where can we talk?

 

                                                                        ANTON

How do I know you’re not weaseling out information to use against me?  How do I know you won’t just shoot me and tell them I’d been to Claudia’s camps?

           

                                                                        SASHA

You mean the Rebel camps.

 

                                                                        ANTON

Of course I do.

 

                                                                        SASHA

Anton, we had no choice when Logan took us.  President Alexander and his daughter dead, General Logan on TV, said we were under attack, they were enforcing an immediate draft.  My family fights on her side, for Christ’s sake, and I’m stuck here.

 

 

                                                                        ANTON

We didn’t have a choice.

 

                                                                        SASHA

And now we do. 

 

                                                                        ANTON

How do you figure that?

 

                                                                        SASHA

Just a feeling.  One of the stories going around. 

 

                                                                        ANTON

Another story is that Isadora’s soul was taken up to Heaven by angels and she never felt the multiple stabs it took to kill her.  Believe that one?

 

                                                                        SASHA

I’m just trying—

 

                                                                        ANTON

I’m trying to find the truth.  I think that’s why I wanted to come here.  I’ve been writing it down…whatever truth I find, whatever I can remember.  Whatever people are brave enough to tell me.  I just need some confirmation of how things happened.

 

                                                                        SASHA

Good luck with that.

     ANTON

Wait – there she is. 

 

(He climbs and takes the fallen head of the statue of Isadora.)

 

The song of Isadora,

The song of Isadora

Princess

With sharp grey eyes.
Modest Virgin, Protectress of the city!